Raising Values: A Two Way Street

[00:00:01] Welcome to the Raising Values Podcast, where the traditional family talks.

[00:00:06] You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, at Spotify and be sure to follow us on Facebook and Instagram.

[00:00:12] You can support the Raising Values podcast through Patreon.

[00:00:16] They'll be a Gillian or behind the mic and we hope you enjoy this show.

[00:00:30] Welcome back to Raising Values.

[00:00:31] Good morning everybody.

[00:00:33] I apologize and advance for the coughing.

[00:00:36] I'm still feeling crappy.

[00:00:38] Sign as infections are a thing, especially right before Prepper Camp.

[00:00:42] That's like every...

[00:00:44] I don't think I was sick last year though before Prepper Camp.

[00:00:46] You didn't go last year.

[00:00:47] I know.

[00:00:48] That's why I wasn't sick.

[00:00:50] So it's Prepper Camp that you're allergic to.

[00:00:52] It's the stress of...

[00:00:54] I don't know.

[00:00:56] It's also working with children.

[00:00:58] The little germ fact.

[00:00:59] I do feel better.

[00:01:00] I don't feel like...

[00:01:01] I don't feel like horrible.

[00:01:04] I feel a little rundown, but I apologize for the coughing.

[00:01:07] And for the audio listeners,

[00:01:10] I have given her pre instructions to please stop speaking.

[00:01:14] Then cough, then start again.

[00:01:16] So I can...

[00:01:16] I was much of as possible.

[00:01:18] We'll see how that goes.

[00:01:20] We'll see how that goes.

[00:01:21] But anyway, good morning.

[00:01:22] Hello, Phoebe.

[00:01:23] Welcome to the podcast.

[00:01:26] Yeah.

[00:01:27] We have a busy two weeks ahead of us.

[00:01:30] We will not be on air next week as we will be at Prepper Camp.

[00:01:35] Well, let me qualify that.

[00:01:37] We won't be streaming on YouTube and rumble next weekend

[00:01:42] because we're going to be in Saludah.

[00:01:44] But if you listen to the audio podcast

[00:01:47] or if you...

[00:01:51] Well actually, I take a stand corrected.

[00:01:53] If you're subscribed to YouTube,

[00:01:55] our audio podcast do re-broadcast on our YouTube channel.

[00:01:59] And we are going to be releasing content from Prepper Camp.

[00:02:03] Well, as matter of facts.

[00:02:04] Are you releasing it on raising values too?

[00:02:06] It's on the same stream.

[00:02:08] But what I'm saying is like...

[00:02:10] You and I had to...

[00:02:10] Take that back.

[00:02:11] Well, you mean Andrew have really talked through like,

[00:02:13] is that going to be, is that morning show we do all three days

[00:02:15] going to be just a matter of fact show?

[00:02:17] Or you want to join, join us,

[00:02:19] and it'd be just the three of us together because...

[00:02:21] I think it needs to be the three of us.

[00:02:23] Okay, so for those...

[00:02:24] This is why I did.

[00:02:25] For those of you who don't care about matter of facts,

[00:02:27] because you're not part of the crazy Prepper people,

[00:02:29] and I don't blame you, but you do listen raising values.

[00:02:32] Then you would be able to catch this on YouTube Friday Saturday

[00:02:36] and Sunday morning, because as long as the gods of cellular networks,

[00:02:41] you know, behave themselves, we're going to record a morning show

[00:02:45] and upload it.

[00:02:46] It should be up I like, I don't know, nine, ten o'clock in the morning,

[00:02:50] depending on upload speeds.

[00:02:52] Sure, what do we say there?

[00:02:55] Podcast producer.

[00:02:56] Mm-hmm.

[00:02:57] So anyway,

[00:02:58] Purper Camp is next weekend,

[00:03:01] and we'll be there the whole weekend.

[00:03:03] We don't leave until Monday.

[00:03:06] And then what else?

[00:03:08] Merch, Merch, Merch, Merch, Merch, Merch,

[00:03:12] and you can look at the show notes to purchase T-shirts,

[00:03:16] mugs, whatever.

[00:03:18] Do you want to grab those cozys?

[00:03:19] Oh yeah, we do.

[00:03:20] They have to be standing right there.

[00:03:22] So I'm not a cozy person personally.

[00:03:25] I don't, but then I don't drink.

[00:03:26] I can make this a little closer.

[00:03:28] I like this one.

[00:03:29] I have a shirt like this.

[00:03:30] It says first of all, I'm a delight,

[00:03:32] and it has the angry, awesome.

[00:03:35] That's a fun one.

[00:03:37] This is a matter of facts one, although it doesn't have

[00:03:39] matter of facts on it, but it's what would

[00:03:41] hurt do?

[00:03:41] Burt gummer from Trimmers.

[00:03:43] If anybody doesn't know who Bert Gummer is,

[00:03:45] you let a very tragic sheltered life.

[00:03:48] This one's my favorite.

[00:03:50] Raising values, podcast one, it's the happy camper.

[00:03:54] Thank you, Nina.

[00:03:55] I love the new shirts too.

[00:03:58] And then I created this one for a matter of facts.

[00:04:01] It's, what is it street fighter?

[00:04:03] So this was a riff off of like the street fighter

[00:04:05] players select screen from way back in the day when we were kids.

[00:04:09] And this is like who are you going to be in the apocalypse?

[00:04:12] What kind of warlord are you going to be?

[00:04:13] Are you going to be Lord Hiemungus or are you going to be, you know, mad max?

[00:04:17] Yeah, so you can, it says apocalyptic warlords,

[00:04:20] players select and then the matter of facts.

[00:04:22] And it's got six different warlords on it.

[00:04:25] And then, of course, just our regular logo.

[00:04:28] But there's more stuff on there.

[00:04:30] There's more, there's different graphics that I just don't have.

[00:04:35] Actually, I do have these or you're two.

[00:04:38] The burnt out but optimistic.

[00:04:40] Which is my favorite of your line by the way?

[00:04:42] And all of these you can get on shirts too.

[00:04:44] And then this one is my, what are my favorites?

[00:04:47] Good energy as contagious.

[00:04:48] It's a raising values.

[00:04:49] Anyway, so yeah options options all galore.

[00:04:53] You can head over to Southern Gals crafts and purchase all that stuff.

[00:04:59] And I think the plan was, it's a lot of fun.

[00:05:01] I think the plan was to bring those to

[00:05:04] Prepper Camp as a bribe for people joining us on the podcast.

[00:05:10] Yeah, I think like if you sign up to become a patron right there at the booth, you get a coosy.

[00:05:16] Oh, I was going to like if somebody wanted to interview with us.

[00:05:20] Oh, we could do it ever.

[00:05:21] I don't care.

[00:05:21] I don't care.

[00:05:22] But these two are staying here because they're my favorites anyway.

[00:05:25] So yeah, merch, Prepper Camp.

[00:05:27] I don't think there's anything else announcement-wise that we need to go through and then.

[00:05:31] I don't really think there is.

[00:05:32] I mean, Prepper Camp is like, you know, kind of, at least for at least from my perspective.

[00:05:37] Like that's one of the two big events a year that this

[00:05:41] group of podcasts does and you and Piper did not come last year for which a lot of people

[00:05:48] asked where a Piper and Gillian.

[00:05:51] And this year I'm glad you're coming back with us.

[00:05:53] I think it's going to be a lot of fun as long as mother nature behaves or so.

[00:05:57] Yeah, it looks like we might be camping in a tent through a tropical storm.

[00:06:02] So we'll see which I will just-

[00:06:03] Be fun.

[00:06:04] Well, I will just point out that several years ago

[00:06:08] I was on the fence about going to Prepper Camp because this is back when I was still going by myself before you

[00:06:12] all started joining me.

[00:06:14] And I was on the fence about going and because we had like a little, I think it was a cat to hurricane that was passing right through here

[00:06:21] like on a Monday or Tuesday and

[00:06:24] it may have been a Tuesday because it was supposed to pass over here.

[00:06:28] And Thursday morning in the wee hours of the mornings when I get on the road to go up there.

[00:06:32] And I was telling her, by like, hey, if we get smacked by this hurricane,

[00:06:34] it's bad. Like, I can't leave my wife and daughter here to deal with it.

[00:06:38] And as it turned out the hurricane went way over to the west and went over

[00:06:42] I would once they'd between Lafay and Lake Charles. So I told her,

[00:06:45] by, okay, the hurricane didn't come my way. I'm getting on the road.

[00:06:48] That hurricane went up through Lake Charles Lafay at Swung Hardwright and hit me in Saludonorth Carolina.

[00:06:57] I want to say it was Thursday night. It was the night I got there.

[00:07:02] And I remember texting you from the tent while it's blowing overhead.

[00:07:07] It's like, hey, babe, remember that hurricane that missed us? It's here.

[00:07:10] No, no. What did what it surprised you that I've already started looking at like hotels just in case,

[00:07:16] just in case the weather gets too bad that I'm not surprised. I'm I'm just going to say that like,

[00:07:24] I don't I think we'll be okay. I think we will be too

[00:07:28] just the thought though of being in a fabric shelter in a tropical storm.

[00:07:34] I did it. Good for you. You also went to war and you did all sorts of things that I will never,

[00:07:40] ever, ever want to do or if I may to do, I might just figure out a way to get out of it. But

[00:07:48] camping in a fabric shelter in a tropical storm slash hurricane is not up there on my to-do list.

[00:07:55] So we'll see what happens. I mean, we've got bad enough out of crawling inside the truck.

[00:08:00] But yeah, yeah, anyway, get on with the show. On with the show. So it's we kind of went back and forth

[00:08:08] on with to title this. We it's called a two-way street. That's what the title of today's episode is.

[00:08:15] It's a two-way street and it can go all sorts of ways. But the way that we wanted to kind of

[00:08:25] that's what this podcast is about is true life things and things that happen in the rebel

[00:08:30] of the house. So a two-way street and where we're going with that is parent child relationships

[00:08:38] being a two-way street. So give you some backstory. I can't remember what she did. Are you looking at me like?

[00:08:47] It was bedtime. Yeah, oh, that's right. It was bedtime. It was bedtime. It was 10 o'clock

[00:08:53] because 10 o'clock. No, her bedtime is 10 o'clock. Right? No, it's 10 o'clock.

[00:09:03] I thought no her bedtime. I'm sorry. Ten o'clock is her bedtime. She likes to watch things on her phone or

[00:09:16] do things on her phone or whatever. So for the past couple of nights she's been coming in and asking

[00:09:21] for an extra 15 minutes. Can I have an extra 15 minutes, extra 15 minutes? She had been working

[00:09:27] really, really hard that day. The whole day, even at school, on writing up a campaign for our

[00:09:37] Dungeons & Dragons thing that we do. I don't know. I don't know the lingo yet. I'm still just

[00:09:44] I'm learning who I am and Dungeons & Dragons. She's a level two elf druid. I'm a level two elf druid.

[00:09:51] Okay. Anyways, the Pifers writing this campaign and when I tell you writing, she's like writing

[00:09:57] back stories of characters and she's writing plots and she's writing the story, the whole backstory.

[00:10:06] It's insane what this child has created and it's, you know, five or six pages long right now,

[00:10:12] whatever. So she'd been working on that diligently all night. We'll 10 o'clock rooms around and she

[00:10:21] and total around and do what she does on her phone. So she comes in and she asks if she can have an

[00:10:27] extra 15 minutes. Well, fill being filled, no offense. Don't take a fence to this.

[00:10:35] 10 o'clock's your bedtime. No. We're not you keep asking for extra time. Why do we have a bed time

[00:10:41] if you keep asking for it and you keep giving in and giving you the extra 15 or extra 30 or whatever.

[00:10:47] You know, it was one of those things make better choices kind of thing like a, you know,

[00:10:53] manage your time better. Manage your time, think about the outcome of your time and,

[00:10:58] you stay up writing this thing all night. Now it's bedtime and now you want to do something else.

[00:11:05] Well, times up. So that's something that we've been trying to teach her and that is a lesson that

[00:11:11] will go far in life, especially when she has deadlines with work and deadlines with school. And

[00:11:19] you know, we all have deadlines. We all have things that we have to meet at a certain time.

[00:11:23] It could be even a doctor's appointment or whatever keeping your appointments, keeping your

[00:11:28] deadlines and your time management skills up. Gotta teach them these things as your kids.

[00:11:35] Well, filming, filming, filming. Me being me, can't we just give her 15 minutes. She's been

[00:11:42] working really hard. At least it wasn't something that she's just been, you know, she's she didn't

[00:11:47] waste her time. She's been using her time efficiently doing something that she loves to do. Can't

[00:11:52] we just give her 15 more minutes. We'll fill, anyway, this whole conversation ensues,

[00:11:58] Piper's crying, not like hysterically crying. But she's upset. She's disappointed because she's

[00:12:03] not going to get the extra 15 whatever. And Phil is kind of riding her a little hard about

[00:12:13] he was upset because this look I'm getting. Well, now I was upset at you and her because I'm

[00:12:19] getting it from both ends. Well, that's what I'm trying to get at is and it made total sense once

[00:12:25] getting it from both ends. He's getting the the attitude in the morning of not wanting to wake up.

[00:12:32] And that that comes for me that is her redditary. My sister is watching. I don't know if she's

[00:12:36] like this. I'm sure she is an Andrew her future has been can attest to this. We are not nice people

[00:12:43] when we are woken up. There are three alarms that have to go off in order for me to wake up

[00:12:49] and a pleasant enough mood that I'm not going to commit. I'm not going to break any laws.

[00:12:57] I'm going to put it like that. It's not that bad, but it is that bad. It is that bad.

[00:13:02] It is that bad. Well, it's her redditary and Piper obviously has has the same trait. So

[00:13:10] she sets her alarms but she turns them off and continues to sleep. So we have to be out the house

[00:13:19] by 7 in order to get to school on time. So by 630 she needs to be out of the bed and doing

[00:13:26] the things that she needs to do to get ready to get out of the house in 40 minutes.

[00:13:31] And usually fill has to go with their in wake her. Usually fill is her fourth alarm clock.

[00:13:36] And that's why at that moment when I've got her kind of from my perspective, I guess

[00:13:42] fussing a little bit about bedtime, then I've got you saying we'll just give it to her. And I'm like,

[00:13:47] that's when I finally said I'm like, okay, to Piper I said the next time you sleep in,

[00:13:53] I'm not coming to save you. I got to let you. Apparently the the Conner gentler dad that

[00:13:58] patch you on the buttons is hey, honey, it's time to get up. That's not working. So I'm just

[00:14:01] going to let you fail. And when you fail, when mom comes and finds you with like 10 minutes to 7

[00:14:08] you've got a rush and have a bad morning, that will be your lesson because I'm not able to teach

[00:14:13] this to you apparently. And that was the same thing I told you. When you have to wake her up and

[00:14:18] deal with the attitude, then you can come back to me and we can talk about what time we're bedtime

[00:14:23] needs to be. I was basically just washing my hands if it's saying fine, if you all, if you all

[00:14:27] both think that the bedtime is unreasonable, I'm going to let both of y'all suffer the consequences

[00:14:31] that I am currently getting. So so what it's so it made sense that he was getting it on the

[00:14:43] poking stick, kind of wake up the dragon. And then also getting asked on the back end, can I

[00:14:49] have extra time before I go to sleep, knowing that she needs sleep because she's a growing child

[00:14:56] and obviously, obviously has the same traits as her mother as far as waking up. And what VB just

[00:15:02] said rushing in the morning makes me more upset than anything. And that's that is Piper 2. And so

[00:15:07] we are very mindful of that because she even gets upset if we are rushing and I go to the

[00:15:13] car before her. Like we have to walk out the door at the same time because then she's a little bit

[00:15:18] okay, but rushing her in the morning sends her just it's it's a bad day. And it's going to

[00:15:24] be bad day. It affects her entire day. So we have to choose between the two evils or we go into

[00:15:31] rush in the morning and she's going to miss all of her alarms. Are we going to go in and poke

[00:15:35] the bear and get her up out of the bed so she can get going. Anyway, Piper goes to her room

[00:15:42] and she's upset. We can hear her crying. She's upset. She's having some anxiety. She also

[00:15:50] like me in the fact that I have to go to sleep. I know I need to go to sleep but I'm not tired

[00:15:56] and I can't go to sleep so that gives me some anxiety. And then your head just starts spinning

[00:16:01] while I'm going to be very tired tomorrow. Tomorrow is going to be very rough. I need to be

[00:16:05] so she goes in and out of the bathroom. And we hear all this and so we call her back into the

[00:16:12] bedroom and you can definitely see that she's been crying and she said, and so we start talking

[00:16:20] and we're not being rough or anything. It's very calm voices, very nurturing voices. We want to

[00:16:35] transpire from our talk that made you this upset. Why are you this upset? Anyway, so she tells

[00:16:43] us that she was actually scared to come talk to us and tell us that she does everything that she

[00:16:53] can write. She's an A on a roll student, like straight days, has been her almost her entire life.

[00:17:02] She would never have to fuss her about homework. We never have to fuss her about

[00:17:07] cleaning her bedroom. We do have to fuss her about bringing her laundry and bringing her dishes

[00:17:12] to the sink and things like that, normal kid things but there's so many things that we don't

[00:17:18] have to fuss her about. And her point of view was I do so many right things but you'll always pick

[00:17:29] the one wrong thing that I did in heart on it and make me feel bad about it. And I had just told

[00:17:36] that to fill before like after she had walked out I said I guarantee you she feels like

[00:17:41] she does good things all the time and then that one time she stumbles we pick that apart and

[00:17:48] throw it back in her face and then she came in and said that and I was like okay and I know that

[00:17:55] I know the feeling of trying my best and making sure that I'm on top of all my things making sure

[00:18:03] that I'm on top of it. And then when I have that one stumble man and I hard on myself about

[00:18:12] that one stumble and not giving myself grace or you know trying to fix it and figure out well

[00:18:19] why did I stumble or anything like that? I'm just super hard on myself and I think that's what

[00:18:24] she was getting from us was I stumbled and now my parents are being hard on me because I stumbled

[00:18:30] instead of giving me the grace but what Phil does is this is where we differ so much in parenting

[00:18:37] and in life. Phil is able to look at things analytically and remove the emotion from all of it

[00:18:47] and see things for really what they are and it's not like and she's right over here now. It's

[00:18:54] not like she's not a bad kid at all. She is we were saying this last night we're lucky that

[00:19:03] we have a child what oh she just realized we're talking about her we're lucky that we have a child

[00:19:10] that's like her that we don't have to fuss her for a whole bunch of things however

[00:19:15] I hate the word I hate the phrase we're so lucky that our kid is so so explain that.

[00:19:21] So my my perspective on calling and this isn't just our daughter this is everything in life.

[00:19:27] I hate for someone to equate good fortune or good behavior or good outcome to look because

[00:19:34] if it removes all of the accountability and all of the effort from that situation it's like

[00:19:40] if if if someone told you oh you're so lucky you have the this awesome marriage and

[00:19:46] this awesome family and you'll live a comfortable life it totally overlooks the fact that

[00:19:51] you haven't we haven't awesome marriage because we worked our butts off to have it.

[00:19:55] We're very firm on having over communication we're both very committed to each other like

[00:19:59] that's not luck that's not like you you're all dice in one the husband lottery it's been years of

[00:20:05] work to build this it's when years of work to build this household it's been years of work to raise

[00:20:11] her and I hate saying that's luck because it just means that if we'd roll the dice differently

[00:20:17] we had a had something different and that's not that's not the case we made intentional decisions

[00:20:23] and followed through to produce all of this and so did she that was here the last point out is that

[00:20:30] he works her butt off to be as gifted academically as she is to you know to cultivate the

[00:20:37] friends and ship said she has to be the kind of person that like I'm super proud to call my daughter

[00:20:43] that's work that's effort that's not luck and that's why I hate that phrase oh you're so lucky

[00:20:49] because I'm like now the luck is not a replacement for hard work and that's why I said that

[00:20:57] because I knew that you were gonna go off on that and I don't I agree with you I don't think it's

[00:21:03] luck that we we didn't just luck out with a kid like we have fortunate maybe well yeah we're

[00:21:10] fortunate and but she's a product of the two of us she is definitely a mix bag of the two of us

[00:21:18] but she works her butt off and a lot of things do come easy for her she's she is so just she's so

[00:21:26] smart she's like so brilliant like she can read something and she knows all about it and then she'll

[00:21:34] like pour herself into something and then she knows even more about it and I take Dungeons & Dragons

[00:21:42] as as an example she will tell me all sorts of things and to me she's speaking French but to her

[00:21:51] she is it is another language that she is speaking and the crazy part of it is is that you and I both

[00:21:58] know her brain is running twice as fast as her mouth is oh you can see it you can see it in her eyes

[00:22:04] her eyes are going all over the place because she's pulling information from different parts of her

[00:22:08] brain it's it's insane to watch this kid but it's been like that since she was a little bitty

[00:22:13] I see a lot of that from you and me though because you were that you were that way about

[00:22:19] like entomology biology and things that interest you and your brain can just like brute force

[00:22:25] that information out of your mouth at a speed that most people can't pick up

[00:22:30] and I am that way with like technology mechanics most you know things I mentioned it where I'm just like

[00:22:36] oh you want to know how an engine works I'm in a waste 45 minutes of your life explaining to you

[00:22:41] everything about the internal combustion works from 1902 to current see and that's the difference between

[00:22:46] me and you as far as that goes is I've learned how to install a filter of I'm going to give you just enough

[00:22:54] that you need the things the information that you're looking for and then I'm going to hold back

[00:22:59] and then if you ask questions then I will give you more information but I'm not going to sit there for

[00:23:04] 45 minutes and tell you why a spider eats the way that it does it's hard to put a filter on a fire hose

[00:23:11] well anyway so back to the topic at hand of making it a two-way street so I kind of turned to you

[00:23:21] in the bed and I looked at you jokingly a little bit and I was like sounds like a really good

[00:23:26] racing value is topic of keeping those lines of communication open but here's where I was

[00:23:35] here's kind of what this episode is about we are able as parents to call

[00:23:42] pipe or out on the things that she hiccups on or stumbles on or whatever not necessarily just

[00:23:50] everyday discipline kind of things but we point out the discrepancies that she has

[00:23:56] as a child growing up like hey you did it this way I've been there done that let me tell you

[00:24:03] that the easier way to do this kind of thing but where parents I see and grew up with and saw

[00:24:10] with most people my age their parents and grandparents where we have to start allowing

[00:24:18] our relationships to go is allowing our kids to feel safe enough to say mom and dad look you're

[00:24:26] humbled here I need you to do better in this area and not getting our feelings hurt and not

[00:24:35] saying well I'm the adult so it's my way or the highway but allowing the child to call you out

[00:24:41] and say you messed up just as much as I did and allowing our adult egos to drop and be like okay

[00:24:49] tell me tell me exactly point it out tell me what I did because I'm trying to be a better parent

[00:24:55] and I don't think this is soft parenting at all I think it is mature for an adult to be able

[00:25:01] to listen to their pre-teen teenage adult children and say you're screwing up right here and I

[00:25:08] need you to do this that's something that I've never had I've never been able to I'll have said it

[00:25:15] time and time again until I'm blue in the face so this is where you're screwing up mom and dad like

[00:25:19] I need you to do better I need you to do this we have to allow our children to be able to come to

[00:25:25] us and say in a safe you know feel safe and not threatening or like they're gonna get in trouble

[00:25:31] because they've called their mom and dad out like there's been a couple of times where Piper

[00:25:35] has called us out and been like that's not fair why why do you allow this but you're able to do it

[00:25:41] I can't why do you why are other kids able to do this and I can't or not that's not a good example

[00:25:47] but but it is a good example because sometimes the answer is as simple as why are you allowed to do

[00:25:56] certain things and your daughter isn't 30 years of age separation sometimes that's a pretty fair

[00:26:02] answer why can't so much a why just so much mom and dad allow them do that but not me because so

[00:26:07] mom dad don't pair the way we do and they don't they don't prioritize the things we do they

[00:26:13] I don't know what's tell you I don't think they're doing the right thing I think we are

[00:26:16] but the point is is to be open to that conversation at least and I think that's that's the big part

[00:26:22] that's the big part because sometimes we she brings things to us and you know what I'm gonna hear

[00:26:27] out I probably won't agree with her I might see things differently I might at the end of the day I might

[00:26:32] say I'm sorry you feel the way honey but I'm I'm standing for a moment what I said or what I decide

[00:26:36] that I feel like I'm doing the right thing here but I'm at least gonna hear her out and the answer is

[00:26:42] never going to be because I'm dad of that's that's final because that is like I've tried to explain

[00:26:48] if I've had this conversation really in the guys of like as children transition into adults

[00:26:54] and how the parent child relationship really does have to change I saw it with my parents

[00:26:59] but like even at this age where she's starting to flex things a little bit you have to be

[00:27:07] you have to be willing to accept that there's gonna be pushback and you have to be a little bit

[00:27:12] open to at least hearing them hearing them out because I'm very particular with Piper about

[00:27:17] when she asks me like why so why we do things a certain way a lot of times I'm very willing to engage

[00:27:22] with her in explain to her this is why this is what I'm thinking of this is this is how I

[00:27:28] I'm gonna give her the why because if the only answer ever gets this I'm dad that's why

[00:27:33] it doesn't that all that does is teacher that you can't ask questions and I'm always right

[00:27:37] as opposed to dad why can't we go to Disney World this year because dad needs to put money

[00:27:44] away in retirement so I don't die you know penniless on the Walmart floor when I'm 65

[00:27:48] seven years old like you know that's a that's a hyperbolic answer but sometimes it is the answer

[00:27:53] it's finances or its priorities or it's it's something but it's never shot up and do it should hold

[00:28:00] what I've learned as not just being a teacher but being involved in the education industry for

[00:28:07] so long is that kids are or able to understand more than we give them credit for

[00:28:15] I have for example I had a tour last year of my pre-K5 parents who's children were going to

[00:28:22] transition into kindergarten and I had on the floor I had a bunch of small legobrics like the

[00:28:32] little bitty legobrics that you buy when you're 12 years old and you put the things together

[00:28:37] I had those on the floor and I said oh it's funny because I just had your children in my class

[00:28:43] and they were playing with these little legobrics what I guess I was shocked because I see it

[00:28:52] parents could not wrap their heads around the fact that their kids were playing with these little

[00:28:58] legobrics and they were capable of building things with these little legobrics with their little

[00:29:02] bitty fingers but at home they were too scared to do that and they were still playing with the big

[00:29:08] duplos my kids are they able to play with those or they I didn't think that they were they were

[00:29:14] able to to do that you can get into fridge you're just going to be on camera oh bear with this for a second

[00:29:28] Stuart would say he loves these sounds because it's the sounds of home life and being a family

[00:29:34] we live here this is not a studio um anyway so the parents were we're really kind of shocked

[00:29:40] that their kids were able to do something that they weren't doing at home but they weren't doing

[00:29:45] at home because the parents didn't think that they were capable of doing it we're good keep talking

[00:29:50] okay they weren't capable of doing it at home and I said

[00:29:55] absolutely your kid is able to handle these smaller bricks and I said I said to them it's like

[00:30:01] that's one of the things we do at school is to push them to their next level you have to push

[00:30:05] them at home too to their next level so as adults I don't know for me I think it's different and

[00:30:12] I'm not gonna I'm not gonna to my own horn I remember a lot of my childhood as far as like my

[00:30:22] internal voice and the things that I said to myself or the questions that I had and the

[00:30:28] conversations that I had with people and wondering about the world and all that stuff and it's

[00:30:34] scary because some of those same questions have come out of my kids mouth and I go oh god I

[00:30:37] remember asking my mom or dad that and what was the answer I don't know if they told me but here's

[00:30:43] the answer I'm gonna give you through my own experience I remember those things and I think it's

[00:30:49] important for parents to put yourself back in your 12 year old shoes put yourself back in your six

[00:30:58] year old shoes how would you have how would you have wanted to or needed your parents to respond

[00:31:05] to those questions are needed to respond to those situations I needed answers most kids need answers

[00:31:13] I mean we're born not knowing anything we know how to breathe eat and poop and sleep that's all

[00:31:18] you know how to do and so our entire life even through adulthood is still learning we're still

[00:31:25] learning about the environment around us and what does this and what makes that tick and all those

[00:31:30] different things and so I think it's important for parents to take a step back and look at your child

[00:31:39] like they're a human being they have a brain they're trying to work out this problem and now they've

[00:31:44] gone to you to help you work out this problem but they need you to actually answer and the answer is not

[00:31:50] because I said so or because blah blah blah the answer needs to be you're disagree with me no no I

[00:31:57] had a perfect analogy oh sorry the answer just needs to be you need to clarify because kids are

[00:32:04] able to handle more than what we give them most of the time I would say 95% of the time kids can

[00:32:12] handle the answer so give them the answer and if they don't understand it explain it a little bit more

[00:32:17] and then let them go and figure it out because I can guarantee you that that child not only will they

[00:32:23] think about that conversation over and over and over again in their head from time to time

[00:32:29] they'll remember it when the next time it comes up they'll remember that conversation they'll

[00:32:34] remember your answer they'll remember the way that they felt and the questions that they had so

[00:32:39] stands with the question so what I consistently said about the parallel to the parent child

[00:32:46] relationship is that we're ultimately our jobs to teach right we are our child's first and last

[00:32:52] teachers we're going to teach them from their their first moments of consciousness

[00:32:57] until we leave this physical plane we're going to always try to teach them things so that they can

[00:33:03] profit from it your teacher by trade if a child comes to you and says why is the earth round

[00:33:10] is the answer because on the teacher that's why or do you explain to them oh I'm always going

[00:33:16] to explain things so that that was the analogy jumped in my head is that it's a it's a relationship

[00:33:21] of teacher to student yeah so if our child asks us a question and the answer is because on the

[00:33:26] teacher that's why it's a stupid answer you wouldn't you wouldn't accept that from if you were

[00:33:32] if you were at a job and a person said this is the way you do the job and you said why

[00:33:36] because you were trying to like understand like okay what's what's the what's behind this procedure

[00:33:41] and being taught and they said because I'm the trader that's why that's a stupid answer

[00:33:44] or because that's how it always is that by the way as the answer I get my workplace a lot which

[00:33:49] everybody my work knows don't don't under those words my presence because it just drives me up

[00:33:54] it's a stupid answer so I guess that's what I would offer is the reason you don't say

[00:34:00] because I'm dead or I'm mom is because you wouldn't accept an answer from anybody else I was

[00:34:04] trying to teach you something you would want your question answered which and it's also very important

[00:34:10] at this moment that I point out like there are moments that some children will say why and it's not

[00:34:16] really because they want to know why they don't want to know why you made that decision they want to

[00:34:20] why you get to make that decision yeah and that is kind of what Nina had set up there yeah I'm

[00:34:25] but I'm going I want to go before you go there can I just say this I just say this because you kind

[00:34:30] of if you don't know the answer say you don't know when I worked for Audivan that was one of the

[00:34:36] things that they hearted on the most because we would give we had all these educational chats I mean gosh

[00:34:42] I was bringing down animals all the time talking about the different facts about these animals to

[00:34:48] educate the public that we're coming in I would get questions sometimes that I didn't answer to

[00:34:55] I don't know I don't know why that spider does that I don't know why that fish does that and

[00:35:00] what we were trained to say is I don't know I don't know but I can find the answer for you

[00:35:05] and I can find you before you leave and give you that answer I would run back to the classroom

[00:35:10] and I do my research and I find the answer of why such and such did such and such and then I'd

[00:35:14] find that guest again and tell them they always appreciated it but guess what so are your kids I

[00:35:20] can't tell you how many times I've told Piper I don't know I don't know but look let's look it up

[00:35:24] really quick let's let's figure out why this is this and I do that with my students too I don't

[00:35:30] know the answer it's okay as an adult to to kind of cool your ego down a little bit and say you

[00:35:36] don't know the answer you don't know just say you don't know it's okay kids don't come in the

[00:35:41] structure manuals is something that my father used to say very very regularly which was a way of

[00:35:46] telling me like I don't know how to be a dad I'm figuring this out at the exact same time you are

[00:35:51] and that was the same thing he told me he reminded me of when we were getting ready to have Piper

[00:35:57] kids do not come with instruction manuals you were going to have to learn how to be mom and dad

[00:36:03] at full speed because they're and look I'm going to be honest with y'all like peeking behind

[00:36:09] curtain to look at the wizard I can't tell you the number of silly things going on googled

[00:36:15] when Piper was like from zero to two weeks old like is this normal is my child dying do I need

[00:36:20] to take her to the ER because like you know something like we didn't know nobody knows how to be a

[00:36:27] pilot she stopped crying yeah so I did want to go back to Nina's comment garden girl

[00:36:33] if I bought it why can you take it away from me was the question we got yesterday that's a good one

[00:36:39] I can't tell you had a answer that question but I can't tell you how I would

[00:36:44] I would like to know how you answered that question Nina while Phil tells us what he would say

[00:36:50] so again I'm my my child's teacher and one of the things I have to teach her along the way through life

[00:36:56] is consequences consequences come from actions it's good they can be good and they could be bad

[00:37:02] and I always try to draw an analog to what I'm trying to do here and what is going to happen

[00:37:07] to her out of the real world and on the real world if one day you decide I don't like my job

[00:37:13] and you quit and you start getting a paycheck and you can't pay your rent and you can't pay for food

[00:37:18] there are bad consequences that come from that decision and if you say my job sucks but I'm

[00:37:23] going to continue to go and I'm going to continue to keep my job while I look for a better job

[00:37:27] that's a better decision you get better consequences from that so my answer to you would be

[00:37:33] I bought it with my money while you get to take away from me the answer is you live under my roof

[00:37:37] and I'm trying to teach you consequences I can't make you homeless and starve

[00:37:44] like morally I can't do that to my kids so I have to find something else to take from you as a

[00:37:50] consequence for poor behavior or poor decisions to teach you to make better decisions because

[00:37:55] if the answer is I mean put this in the guys of I don't know are our kid starts driving

[00:38:01] she'd let's say hypothetically she buys her own car she pays her own gas she pays her own

[00:38:06] insurance that car financially is nothing from us but she's living under our roof and then one morning

[00:38:12] she blows curfew she doesn't come home and she's supposed to she does something cash

[00:38:17] profitably out of line and we say give me the keys you're not drawing you know there has to be

[00:38:23] a consequence I have to take something from you to negatively incentivize you doing this again

[00:38:28] and the answer is well that's my car well it's my house you don't have to live here

[00:38:34] if you want to go live in your car but I have to take something from you so like I don't know

[00:38:39] of that whole it's water in this case but like that's my thought process is that I hate to use

[00:38:43] the old as long as you live under my roof it's my rules but it's more of a as long as you live

[00:38:48] under my roof I have to be able to continue to like mentor you and give you consequences for

[00:38:56] because the midger out of this house the world gets to give you consequences and it's not going

[00:39:01] to be as nice as I am that's another car raviism when the world does have consequences the world's

[00:39:09] not going to be as nice as I am and a Gargol said we can take it away because it's causing

[00:39:17] you not to do the things your response will in practice, cello, clean your room with wash your

[00:39:24] laundry okay so to me I guess to me whether or not the child I'm assuming by the way we're talking

[00:39:31] about a child under the age of 18 the water gets a little the water gets a little muddy when you

[00:39:36] have an 18 year old living in your roof because technically they're an adult and if you take their

[00:39:41] legally they could go to police and say my mom took my property and you'd have to give it back

[00:39:46] legally but then you're in also in the situation of I can't take your stuff from you but I can tell

[00:39:52] you to get out of my house you know I'm saying to me there there's always there's always I always

[00:39:57] have to have a lever as a dad I can pull to incentivize good behavior and if I don't have a lever

[00:40:05] then I have nothing I'm no way to to compel you to behave like I'd like you to.

[00:40:11] I see that yeah and I knew that it was going to be because you live under my house you live under my roof

[00:40:17] those are my rules kind of thing um hmm I don't know that's a heartland for me it's like well

[00:40:23] you did buy it with your own money it technically is yours but I get it I'm still I'm still mom

[00:40:29] you're still 12 and it's causing you to not do the things that you're supposed to do he's she said he's

[00:40:36] 13 he bought a new mouse for his computer his husband I mean I'm sorry my husband said we could always let

[00:40:43] him have it and just turn it off the internet and you see men smart things or thinking

[00:40:50] see and I mean that honestly that's what I would offer him be like you want the mouse back that's mine

[00:40:56] plug the router solve that problem I mean I could read a book I don't need the internet you know we

[00:41:03] used to struggle with that with paper because sometimes we would take like we would take TV away

[00:41:08] and she would just go sit in a room in like drawer or something it was like I know we had she

[00:41:13] she was always this odd ball of what what are we gonna take away from her that's actually going

[00:41:19] to do anything and we could say oh well you get no TV tonight and she would be like okay can

[00:41:24] still read a book and we're like yeah you can read a book and then it was like cool I still get

[00:41:30] to go read a book but like I can't take your books away but like I pointed out to you years ago

[00:41:37] I figured out when she was very very young the ultimate the ultimate lever to pull with her was

[00:41:43] always attention yeah she does not like being by her now now that she's a teenager she is kind of

[00:41:49] like drifting into her room by herself a little more often but when she was younger attention was the

[00:41:54] ultimate like nuclear option if I just told her like just go to your room and sit sit there on your bed by yourself

[00:42:01] five minutes and that was it she hated being by herself it was yeah and I guess to me yeah it was

[00:42:08] kind of awful well and and I know I told you like there were times when she was in punishment and you

[00:42:14] become to me I'd have tears come down my face because I don't like punishing pipe or I never you

[00:42:19] but again what what has been the consistent in our lives together because I don't like doing

[00:42:26] something is not the reason I'm not going to do it I don't care whether I like doing it I don't like

[00:42:32] I don't care how painful it is emotionally viscally or otherwise I will do it if I think it needs to be

[00:42:37] done so the fact the fact that she was crying and I'm crying in two separate rooms and she had

[00:42:44] no earthly idea that I was upset as she was I'm still going to do it because I had I had to

[00:42:51] I don't it had to be done the fact that I didn't like doing it that did not factor into my decision

[00:42:57] making it never does yeah and then Phoebe's comment up there says some parents are too lazy

[00:43:03] to explain things to their kids and one others to do it for them yeah we see that I know

[00:43:09] teachers see that daily they want us to do all sorts of things for their kids and it's not

[00:43:15] sometimes legally we can't do it and then other times it's like absolutely not this is your child

[00:43:20] you do this kind of thing and right in tandem with that is the fact that a lot of parents

[00:43:25] the thing they're too lazy to do is the same thing I was willing to do which is I don't want

[00:43:31] to punish you but I'm going to they want to be their kids friend they never want to be the bad guy

[00:43:36] they never want to be the one do up the consequences or the punishments they want to have a friend

[00:43:41] relation if this is something I'll put in show notes they want to have a friend relationship with

[00:43:45] their child they don't want to be the bad guy they don't want to be the mean mom or the mean dad

[00:43:50] I don't want to be the mean dad either I mean you and I have told this to Piper directly

[00:43:57] the version of dad you get is not up to me it's up to you if you if you push back against me

[00:44:04] I'm going to push back I don't have a choice in the matter I have a there's a path here

[00:44:09] I'm trying to get you on so that you can be the best version of yourself as an adult for you not for me

[00:44:17] not for me I told him before I'm like the easiest thing the world for me to do would be to just

[00:44:22] hands off feral kid you go figure out your way in life and mom and I are going to go on dates and

[00:44:27] do whatever and if you burn the house down you burn the house down it's not sure I don't care

[00:44:30] that would be easy it's hard it's emotional it's draining to be that parent who is constantly thinking

[00:44:40] about how do I get my kid to be the best version of themselves like it's a near obsession

[00:44:45] of how do I how do I be the best parent by making you the best the best year able to be

[00:44:52] whether that's you know astronaut president of the United States or the best deggum ditch

[00:44:57] or just being able to graduate high school yeah but no matter what that child's potential is

[00:45:03] you want them to reach that potential yeah and that's for them not for us but I feel like a lot of

[00:45:09] parents they that level of work is not something they're willing to put in their kids which I think

[00:45:14] it's criminal but I also think that sometimes the laziness intrudes into like you said I don't

[00:45:26] sometimes is the parents just want to be their friend they they don't want to make them upset maybe

[00:45:32] their whole life is a little upsetting maybe they're coming from a broken home you know divorce or

[00:45:37] whatever and they I would think that more often than not mom and dad don't get along that's why

[00:45:45] they got a divorce and so they've learned this home manipulation game they've learned how to pull the

[00:45:51] strings and all that stuff but what I honestly I can't speak to this because we we're not divorced

[00:46:03] and we don't cope I mean we do cope parent but we don't cope parent in two different homes kind of thing

[00:46:08] but I think that that it's I would imagine that it's even harder to play mom and dad not in

[00:46:21] dad and and being those roles of no this is you know now it's going to be doubly hard on you as a

[00:46:28] mom or a dad a single mom or a single dad because you have to stick to your guns because eventually

[00:46:34] those children are gonna be out of your house and you can't just because your your child is upset

[00:46:42] you can't just be like okay well let's go buy a new pair of shoes or okay let's go to the movies

[00:46:46] tonight or whatever because now they understand that I can act this way and I can do these things

[00:46:52] and mom or dad or going are going to reward me even though I shouldn't be rewarded let me

[00:47:01] offer an alternative theory I think what you're I think what I think you're describing two parents

[00:47:08] coper to get separate houses divorced two two parents that could coper in the same house

[00:47:15] and still have a very adversarial relationship because I've seen couples that I've seen separated

[00:47:22] couples that coper very efficiently together because they're both they both acknowledge like hey

[00:47:27] you and I cannot get along into the same roof but the child needs to be the child needs to be raised

[00:47:32] and we're gonna work together to do this even though we're doing it in separate households and those

[00:47:37] children still know the love and death the love of mom and dad they still know stability they still

[00:47:42] and they have two parents who are coperating and I've also seen situations where two parents in

[00:47:48] the same household are constantly undercutting each other because they were fused to do the same

[00:47:54] things that you and I did when we were younger where we were like look we're not gonna agree about

[00:47:59] everything on parenting but we have to figure it out together because we have one child we're both responsible for

[00:48:04] so it cannot be your way or my way and it also can't be your way when you're around in my

[00:48:10] way and when I'm around because that doesn't work for her she needs a cohesive parenting plan

[00:48:16] that the two of us can both agree to and sometimes that involves compromise between you and I where

[00:48:20] it's like I'm not totally happy with the solution but you're not totally happy with the solution either

[00:48:24] but we're meeting in the middle on this but I see parents I see couples out there

[00:48:30] that don't do that even if they live under the same roof and I would argue that

[00:48:35] that probably existed before those couples divorced and that's why you see it in divorce

[00:48:40] definitely more often because I don't believe that happens just with the parenting I believe

[00:48:46] that is parenting finances time allocation it is a constant battle of rather than two couples

[00:48:52] work on the communication come together and figure it out it's I'm gonna do my way or you do

[00:48:57] you can do it your way and that doesn't work yeah doesn't work for a couple much less for a family

[00:49:04] right call rabble saying her playing her playing you I don't understand my father's comment there

[00:49:15] except unless he's refered to like here hyper play I don't know what are you talking about that

[00:49:22] well but me I will say if I understand where I think he's going like yeah kids I mean let's call

[00:49:28] it is and I don't want to use the word manipulate in a malicious way but let you use the word

[00:49:33] manipulate let me use one manipulation but let me use the word manipulative without the malicious

[00:49:38] is in a totally clinical setting manipulate only means to be able to like interface with something

[00:49:47] and then make it do what you wanted to you know saying parents kids learn how to manipulate

[00:49:53] their environment which includes us from their earliest their earliest you know moments on earth

[00:49:59] they learn that if they cry enough sooner or later someone's gonna figure out what they want

[00:50:03] you know you're gonna check their diaper you're gonna see how long some of this is a bit

[00:50:07] bad you're gonna make sure that I call you're gonna continue to figure out what's going on with this

[00:50:11] tiny screaming thing until it finally quiets down and that's how they figure out how to manipulate

[00:50:17] their environment when they're babies when they're infants and then as they get older they're gonna learn

[00:50:24] oh when I do this mom and dad get upset when I do this mom and dad are happy if I want

[00:50:30] happy parents I do these things like that's all kids do is learn how to manipulate their environment

[00:50:36] and manipulate the people around them that's all that's all humans do is learn how to manipulate

[00:50:41] the environment around them the key to me is to not allow your child to manipulate

[00:50:50] to manipulate you to their own detriment. Piper knows if she does certain things mom and dad are

[00:50:58] gonna be upset probably just might get taken away she might get a talk into and as a result she

[00:51:03] shines away from those things but if we allow Piper to manipulate us and to do things that will

[00:51:08] fall for her then we're falling down our responsibilities so yeah yeah there was something

[00:51:18] awesome wanted to talk about and now I have to go back to the comments see try to jog my memory on

[00:51:25] something somebody said oh thanks so i mean we could talk for 20 minutes about how hard

[00:51:33] is to wake you up in the morning oh lord i've mercy no thanks it's hard i get it i did not want

[00:51:40] to wake up this morning either but i let you sleep anyway i was going to let you sleep till about nine

[00:51:47] thirty what did you find what you were looking for no i didn't i guess i guess like the whole

[00:51:53] the whole point of what we want to talk about with this episode is really just say that like

[00:51:58] it's super important that you had that open line communication with your kids i mean at the end of

[00:52:02] the day you are mom and dad y'all get to make the decisions they kind of have to go along

[00:52:06] the program because that's how this whole situation works but i think it's super important to

[00:52:12] have it open line communication so that your kids do feel comfortable coming to you and ask you

[00:52:17] questions yeah and especially when those questions are not coming from a place of like i said before

[00:52:22] it's the difference between asking why do you get to make that decision because that's obvious i

[00:52:26] get to make that decision because i'm dead why are you making that decision is a totally different

[00:52:31] question that sometimes sounds exactly the same and i welcome my daughter asking me why

[00:52:37] because i want her to understand from my perspective why i'm making that decision because one day

[00:52:42] she's going to have to make that decision by herself i'm not going to be around and if she says

[00:52:48] why do you why do you go to work everyday if you don't like your job that much because it keeps

[00:52:53] a roof over your head of food in your mouth and if it i'm i'm off almost every day by three

[00:52:58] to the afternoon so i get spent time with you mom like there's positives to that and there's

[00:53:02] negatives and you have to decide how much is it worth to you but if i ever if all i ever told her

[00:53:08] was well you're just kid or on the adult or whatever that doesn't give her the back story to be

[00:53:13] able to understand my decision making process and again because we're teaching because we're teachers

[00:53:19] i want her to understand how i made that decision she might make the decision differently when she's

[00:53:24] shoes but i want her understand where where my head space was when i made that decision how i

[00:53:30] prioritized those things the fact that i even thought that decision through that far i don't want her

[00:53:37] to get to adulthood without the appropriate framework to look at the world around her and be

[00:53:43] able to make decisions on her own it's the difference between as a teacher is the difference

[00:53:49] between teaching and kid the test teaching and the answers that are on the test and teaching them to

[00:53:53] figure out the answers by themselves i don't want to teach my daughter the test in life yeah i want

[00:54:00] to teach her how to how to think critically and make her own decisions because that will serve her

[00:54:05] better and then just to kind of recap the dropping your ego as an adult and as a parent

[00:54:11] of allowing your child that safe space to come in and say hey i think you messed up here can we talk

[00:54:18] about it kind of thing and not getting your feelings hurt or your ego blown up out of proportion

[00:54:24] because a juvenile has has questioned you on your decision hearing them out letting them have

[00:54:35] that space to say i don't quite understand can you can you explain this a little bit more

[00:54:41] because that's really what they're asking is explain this to me why why did you make a decision

[00:54:48] and then being able to have someone younger than you and your child hopefully your child

[00:54:56] call you out on a bad decision or whatever yeah and i would just say like into to fall that

[00:55:04] up before he closes out like it's not even always about your kid calling you out it really is to

[00:55:10] me it more is more just a function of like they want to know why they want to understand

[00:55:16] and if you're open to having that discussion believe it or not and this is why i named this episode

[00:55:22] two way street y'all can both benefit from it yeah we did we are still after this coming February

[00:55:31] will make 20 years we've been together we're still learning how to be a couple yeah and our child

[00:55:37] 12 years old we're still learning how to be mom and dad and we're learning this at full speed

[00:55:44] like there is no pause button there is no let me call a friend it's you got it you got

[00:55:49] to stand up and make a decision and perform so i always tell people like you know if you're open

[00:55:53] to your child it's simply your child come to you say hey i don't understand this decision i

[00:55:58] don't understand what you're doing can you explain it to me it's an opportunity for you to

[00:56:02] better learn how to be a parent it's an opportunity to teach them better how to be an adult

[00:56:07] you just have to like you said you got a you got to let the ego go and approach it from

[00:56:11] that that perspective yeah okay don't let parents show you what he what your dad was saying

[00:56:19] was she she kind of showed her hands it was like okay no TV fine i'll go read a book and it

[00:56:24] and she showed her hands and saying this isn't a punishment i'll just go read my book yeah

[00:56:29] but i will also say that like i don't think i don't think when she was younger she ever had

[00:56:34] any earthly idea help set i was to punish her i put on that i put on that poker face like you

[00:56:40] could have been shoving bamboo shoots under my toenails and i wouldn't show it but inside i was

[00:56:45] i was just it killed me i hated doing i still hate punishing her i don't have to do it very

[00:56:50] often no but i don't i don't like any part of it but it's one of those things where it's like

[00:56:56] i'm gonna do because i think it's right thing to do yeah but you're right dad's right

[00:57:01] don't show your hand parenting is a poker game that's it all right guys well thank you

[00:57:08] for joining us today um be sure to tune in next week like Phil said uh for the shows from the

[00:57:17] mountain yeah i don't know how else i'm with that i mean i will just say that like okay so it's

[00:57:24] it's gonna be next friday Saturday Sunday and if you're listening this on the peep on the

[00:57:28] proper broadcast and network this you this episode will get released the Sunday we're at prep or camp

[00:57:35] so hopefully you are watching the audio feed and you'll see the episodes popping up but

[00:57:40] i'm going to be releasing that content from the top of the mountain as long as the cell

[00:57:45] never cooperates which it usually does well enough and it will it should be on youtube for those

[00:57:50] you who watch the streams it'll it'll just be a blank screen and listen to the audio but

[00:57:55] you know i don't know what we're gonna talk about it's not going to be like this where we have a

[00:57:58] topic it's going to be kind of a house prep or camp going what's the weather like hopefully we're

[00:58:04] not doing this in the middle of a tropical storm but you know anyway all right guys well we'll see

[00:58:11] all when we see you um have a great week and a rest of your day and thank y'all for joining us

[00:58:18] everybody.